If you haven’t seen Netflix’s Queer Eye, you’re missing out.
Queer Eye is one of those shows that just lifts your mood and makes you want to smile as you watch it. All of the guys on this show, Antoni, Tan, Karamo, Bobby and Jonathan are infectiously happy and upbeat, always laughing and having a great time. I’m sure some of this show is scripted, though all of the five seem to genuinely like being together and being on the show. Now, what is the show? If you didn’t watch the original Bravo series, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, let me give you the rundown: both shows focus on a group of gay men improving the lives of people in their community through interior design, culinary education and a new wardrobe. These things are all superficial, but after watching the show you will be convinced that they’re helping the exterior and the interior. The client shares personal stories and the viewers get to dig deep into their lives, along with the lives of the Fab Five. Queer Eye is deeply personal and emotional while also lifting your spirits. I’ve watched almost four episodes now, but my favorite is still the very first one. An older man working as a dump truck driver continuously repeated “you can’t fix ugly,” insinuating that no matter what the Fab Five did, he would still be ugly. The first time I heard this, my face immediately melted into a frown. However, throughout the episode, the guys fixed him up with Abby, his sort-of-ex-wife. The two of them had been flirting for a couple months following their divorce, and the client said he thought that without his wardrobe makeover and home makeover, Abby would never like him. The Fab Five assured him that if she was really the right one for him, she would love him for him. I’m not gonna lie, I might have teared up a little. I was not able to watch Bravo’s original series, but from what I’ve heard, as it aired in the early 2000s, the show was more about educating the public about gay men than it is now. The United States is more accepting of other sexualities and different types of people, so the new Queer Eye has transitioned into a show still starring gay men, but also starring the clients and their lives. I absolutely recommend this show for anyone who is taking a break from Scandal or Grey’s Anatomy and wants something that won’t make you wonder whether the main character is going to die that episode. Queer Eye does not take a whole lot of concentration or thought, just an upbeat attitude and a readiness to laugh.
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Have you ever stepped foot inside a Planet Fitness? If not, let me paint a picture for you-- everything you see is either yellow or grape purple, moms tote diaper-bags-turned-workout-bags to and from the locker room, meatheads have a permanent angry face etched across their face, and you, right in the middle of it all, are wondering where the heck you fit in. Before watching Functional Fitness, I thought maybe I just wasn’t cut out for the gym atmosphere. Afterwards, I came to the conclusion that this insecurity transcends gym or gym goer; many people feel this way, and Functional Fitness proposes a complete revolution for how you think about exercise.
In this popular Netflix documentary featuring the up and coming sport of Crossfit, the proof is in the pudding. The gym showcased (a glorified garage in the sweltering Florida heat) is a melting pot of jacked and juiced, military and mom, basic and beginner. Yet, judging by the atmosphere and lighthearted feel, no one cares who’s new and who has perfected their sport. CrossFit was the primary focus of Functional Fitness, though that certainly wasn’t the only topic. CrossFit is an intense activity featuring heavy cardio mixed with insane weight-lifting. This sport has a few annual competitions and meet-ups, all definitely circling around these workouts, but also including cookouts and various activities bringing the community together. Although this documentary is a little cringy and talks a lot about throwing up after exercise, I can say it was interesting and taught me a lot about a sport I had never heard about. I now know that it isn’t a requirement for me to feel outranked. I can go through my workout without the fear of judgement, because this cheesy little documentary told me that, really, no one cares whether you can do those thirty sit-ups you’re attempting or sprint as fast on the treadmill as the lady next to you. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to my friends for a fun night-in movie but if you’re bored and are into fitness or looking for a different type of exercise, give Functional Fitness a try. It’ll make you feel guilty for digging into that chip bag while you watch, so I’ll give you a little pro tip-- swap the chips for an apple or something. It’ll make you feel less unhealthy after the documentary is over. With the possibility of an Office revamp flying around the minds of Americans everywhere, I decided that this week was the week I was going to unleash my vast opinion on the best show on Netflix (according to everyone in the universe).
If you haven’t heard of NBC’s The Office, then you’ve been living under a rock. This UK-originated series was started by comedian Ricky Gervais, and although the US version did away with Gervais’ acting role, he still worked on the show as a writer and the co-creator. His sense of unusual and crude humor plays a small part on The Office, though his ability to craft unusual stories and characters shines through unobstructed. My absolute favorite part of the show has to be this aspect-- Michael Scott, main character and branch manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, is the oddest, most lovable, and cringey-est soul to ever be captured on television. His cast of misfits include Pam Beasley and her husband Jim, Stanley the angry salesman, and Dwight, a beet-farm running, gullible, fun-hating Assistant to the Regional Manager. All of these characters are so weird and unusual, and when put together they create the oddest mix of people which ultimately is what made the show a hit. A common consensus is that if you don’t work in an office you won’t find this show funny. However, I’m here to fully abolish those rumors once and for all! I am a senior in high school, have never worked in an office in my life, and laugh so hard water comes out of my nose when I watch The Office. The humor is universal. If you deal with human beings, you will find the jokes funny. My obsession with this show runs so deep that when, on a business trip, my mom went to the real town of Scranton, Pennsylvania, the setting of The Office, I asked her to take a picture of the sign and give me a summary of any similarities the area had to the show (there weren’t any). Ultimately, anyone who exists and has one single humorous bone in their body will thank me for recommending this show. Hopefully I sold The Office to you readers, but if I didn’t, just turn and talk to the person next to you and I guarantee they have watched it and loved it. And if that doesn’t do it for you, you’re just a lost cause and should probably go watch, like, C-SPANN or something. Did you hear about the race car driver who scammed the poor under the guise of a Native American tribe? Or the pharma company that got entangled with big-time Wall Street execs? What about the ins and outs of our President’s fortune? Whether you’ve seen these stories or not, you absolutely need to watch Netflix’s Dirty Money.
This new docu-series has become my obsession. I’ve wasted numerous nights on these little knowledge-mines, and unlike when I usually binge-watch series, I don’t feel like I’ve wasted hours of my life. These documentaries are each an hour or so long, and each minute has easily understandable information paired with entertaining interviewees. My favorite so far has either been the Donald Trump episode or the Valeant Pharmaceuticals one, both extremely interesting and eye-opening. The episodes are each just extremely well-made and I’m honestly so glad I spent last night watching them instead of studying for my math test. As I stated before, the episode on Valeant Pharmaceuticals really was a hard-hitting, controversial, and relevant story. Valeant used to be a small company based out of California, a sort of small fish in a big pond of successful predecessors. No one really started to pay attention to it until it began buying up even smaller companies and growing quickly. Their stock began to be seen as a hot commodity, and all of the Wall Street bankers and traders made this company become one of the most talked about investments in New York. When knowledge that only 3% of the company was producing pharmaceuticals, a few short-sellers did the math and realized that Valeant has been increasing prices on life-saving drugs exponentially to make their insurmountable profit grow-- these drug costs became so high that the company underwent an investigation into price gouging. I would tell you how the story plays out, but Dirty Money narrates it much better. Beyond the wonderful story-telling and interesting info, part of Dirty Money’s appeal is in the satisfaction of seeing bad guys put away. You learn about the things they’ve done and the people they’ve hurt then get to see them locked up for their crimes. Although some have a compelling argument for both sides of the coin, like the Scott Tucker episode, most of the documentaries will keep you on the edge of your seat until you see the outcome, at which point you can relax and sink back into your couch where you will most likely stay until you have finished the entire season.
I love drama.
This is part of the reason I write journalistically-- all I’m doing is picking apart all the details and getting the dirt on the situation. That is why I absolutely loved the I, Tonya movie. Margot Robbie perfectly played Tonya Harding, a disgraced ice skater who lost her career after a plot by her husband to attack competitor Nancy Kerrigan. Many know this story through and through, seeing as there was an incredible amount of coverage at the time of the event, as well as the numerous documentaries and news articles that followed. Going into the theater, I already knew the controversy and was excited to see another side of the story: Tonya’s side. I, Tonya chronologically sprinted through her early years before slowing to a walk at the time of the time of the event. Tonya’s father left, she was abused, and took a physical beating from pretty much everyone in her life. I think the reason the movie was so highly regarded was because it made viewers feel sympathy for one of the United States’ best known villains. At one point in time, Tonya Harding was the most hated person after Bill Clinton, according to the film. If a movie can make me not hate someone I used to despise, I think I can confidently call it quality. Tonya’s character was as much of a victim as she was a protagonist. I loved seeing her early years and how they shaped her as an adult, especially her mother’s disregard for anyone’s schedule besides her own and the contrast between her and Tonya’s straight-laced skating coach. The abuse Tonya took throughout the years could break even the strongest people but up until the very end, Tonya kept her spunky, f-you attitude. She drove the story. She decided that she wasn’t going to perform in the Olympics with a messed up skate-- instead she shoved her foot on the judges’ table and requested extra time. She was definitely my favorite part of the entire film, besides, of course, the sheer idiocy of Shawn Eckhardt. All in all, if you love drama and reopening old wounds while rubbing salt in all of them, I would strongly recommend this movie. It will make you rethink everything you thought you knew about the situation and could feasibly change your mind on the entire thing. If you like questioning everything and everyone and also start a fight with your parents when you get home because they see Tonya as a monster, then for sure go see it. My obsession with late night talk shows has been more than satisfied with the influx of new hosts like James Corden and Jimmy Fallon, so I never watched Letterman. Now that he is on Netflix though, he has peaked my interest. And, of course, the fact that George Clooney was his most recent guest peaked my interest as well.
Letterman’s set is very simple and industrial, and when he delivers his introductions, he takes his suit jacket off and calms the atmosphere to a chill, tension-less environment. The audience presumably doesn’t know who the guest of that episode will be until they come out and the excitement is palpable. Both Obama and Clooney came out with an effortless confidence that comes only in the presence of a friend. Letterman, so far, has seemed to interview people he is close with or has connected with in the past. He crafts questions that target the things an acquaintance would wonder about and the audience feels like they’re eavesdropping in on a conversation between neighbors or coworkers. In Clooney’s episode, Letterman took a trip to his parents’ house in Augusta, Georgia, and shed some light on his father Nick Clooney’s job as a television personality. The show also highlighted some humanitarian efforts done by George’s wife Amal to actually take ISIS to court, which has never been done before. As I watched, I felt like I knew the Clooney’s personally, and held a new sympathy that I hadn’t before. The camera highlighted family photos and exclusive childhood stories that would never had been shown in a regular talk show setting. David Letterman himself is definitely not my favorite host, but he was not distracting or annoying during the interview. He is too old to connect with me and I sometimes find him snarky, but I appreciated how Clooney would occasionally turn a question around on him and ask about how his family is doing. It was interesting, but I was relieved when the conversation turned back to George. All in all, I would recommend My Next Guest to people who like the guest on that night. I would advise against tuning into an episode with someone you aren’t interested in because I just don’t believe Letterman would be able to turn the show around like Fallon or Kimmel or Corden's personalities can. However, if you’re looking for an hour of just staring at George Clooney’s face, this would be a wonderful opportunity to do so. According to ESPN, 103.4 million people tuned in to watch the Super Bowl last weekend, and I wasn’t one of them. Sports aren’t really my thing. So when everyone said to write something about the Super Bowl, I couldn’t be bothered: until, of course, they mentioned Beyonce’s Super Bowl performance, in which case I perked right up and volunteered my services. As a consequence, below you will read the completely biased opinion of a 17 year old ruthlessly judging your favorite artists. Enjoy!
#1: Coldplay (2016) I should preface this by saying that I went into researching this column thinking that there was absolutely no way anyone would beat Beyonce’s performance. She should be at the top of every ‘Best of’ list, every ‘Most Perfect People’ list, every… list. Except this one, apparently. Coldplay had everything a Superbowl performance should have. They had cute kids playing instruments, pretty colors, and lots of love. They also had Bruno and Beyonce. This is what ultimately put Chris Martin in front of two of my favorite performers: because the show had both of them in it. Not only that, but the two duked it out in an intense dance battle, which may or may not have left my jaw on the floor for a good five minutes. #2: Beyonce (2013) Here she is: The Queen. I was about to do only the last five halftime shows, but I extended it to six exclusively for her. Beyonce brought out Destiny’s Child, which honestly wasn’t a big deal for me because they broke up only five years after I was born, but they all sounded amazing. Not even they could match Bey’s incredible voice-- she did not have a single slip-up or botched note. I found myself wondering if she was lip-syncing. Her dancing was impeccable, and the stage was absolutely legendary. #3: Bruno Mars (2014) I remember my Mom talking about Bruno’s halftime show for months after it first aired, and while I thought it was annoying at the time, when I rewatched the show, I completely understood her awe. This little man, standing at a meager 5’ 5’’, did not bore me for a single second. His dancing band is equally, if not more impressive than Bruno himself, jammin’ up on stage with heavy brass and strong voices. The entire production was intricately planned and beautifully executed. And, honestly, I may have googled how to do Bruno’s ‘crazy feet’ afterwards. #4: Lady Gaga (2017) After watching Lady Gaga’s documentary a couple weeks ago, I have a newfound respect for the Monster Mama. I knew she would knock it out of the park. However, I did not know that she would fly around the stadium and perch herself at the very top. I got anxiety just watching it. Gaga’s voice is extremely strong and I loved her dancers' costumes almost as much as I loved her heartfelt performance of ‘Million Reasons’ on the piano. She also said hi to her Mom and Dad as she sang, and the humbleness of it all really got to me. The only reason I put her down at number four is because I have predetermined loyalties to Beyonce and Bruno and my heart wouldn’t let me put her before them. Sorry Gaga. #5: Justin Timberlake (2018) JT kind of let me down. I had high hopes for his performance, especially after Jimmy Fallon introduced him. (Their friendship is just so adorable-- I swooned a little). However, as soon as all these half-naked girls started dancing around him and getting all up-close-and-personal, I got bored. Isn’t this what all of his performances are like? Couldn’t he have pulled something different out of the hat for the Superbowl? I do love Timberlake: each time he’s on SNL or Fallon, I make sure to record it and keep it on the DVR for years and years, just in case I’m in a Timberlake kind of mood. I agree with everyone saying he’s an entertainer, seeing as I laugh until I cry whenever he does comedy, but on the singing side of things I’m not too sure. #6: Katy Perry (2015) Katy Perry is just a little much for me. She has an amazing voice, but did she really need to ride in on a mechanical lion? The entire time I was watching, all I could think of was, ‘how much money did they waste on that? She sang all her hits and I appreciate that-- I could definitely sing along to the entire program. It was all too over the top. I understand that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but I was slightly perturbed the whole time. Just… don’t have beach balls with eyes on them dancing along with you. It’s creepy, Katy. If you’re looking to have a night of reliving the last few Super Bowl performances, definitely blast Coldplay and definitely skip Katy Perry. If you absolutely must watch Perry’s show, to make it more interesting, maybe yell BINGO every time she pretends to kiss personified objects. Then rewatch Beyonce and Bruno’s dance-off ten more times, just to top it off. Are you ever in the mood for a good, heartwarming teen drama? One with the woes of being young, the turmoil of relationships, the anxiety of college life?
I personally am never in that mood. That may be why I really didn’t like Kenya Barris’ ‘Grown-ish’. This is a matter of opinion-- I think the show is very well cast and I don’t have any complaints to do with the production value. I love Yara Shahidi as an actress and as an activist, and I approve of the casting of the Bailey twins as well. I do however, have some complaints about… well, everything else. As a teen, I understand what it takes to be one. I get the hardships and I understand why many write characters at this time in their life because it is interesting. It’s a time to grow and start to better understand the world you’re living in. But again, as a teen, I feel a bit like an outsider watching this show. Did they take the time to consult a normal kid to see what the transition into college is like? I doubt it; I can’t see any of my friends acting anything like these characters do. A lot of the people in ‘Grown-ish’ are so extreme in their stereotype that you lose sight of the storyline-- Zoe plays the popular girl with artful outfits and a knack for befriending the hottest guys on campus while also falling prey to some drug experimenting after an offer from her friend. Her roommate is a devout Catholic who drank once and almost died, and since has sworn off all forms of it. Her friend Luca wants to be a fashion designer, so he wears so many rings the viewer wonders how he even holds a pencil. This Luca character also smokes weed, and a lot of it. He is the absolute embodiment of every modern, bad-boy model-type that little girls swoon over. Zoe’s first boyfriend in the series is a talented basketball player named, wait for it… Cash Mooney. Yes-- his name is Cash Mooney. Is it a coincidence that out of the entire campus, a freshman who’s been a student for no more than two weeks is assigned to be his tutor? Of course! I have seen all of the episodes of ‘Black-ish’, the parent show ‘Grown-ish’ spun off of, and I have to say that I am disappointed. I had high hopes for Zoe’s new journey, but I won’t watch the rest of the series. I am not a Lady Gaga fan. I have never been a Lady Gaga fan, and I would’ve been completely fine having never changed my mind. She had her chance, seeing as ‘Poker Face’ was right down my alley, but she ruined it by her annoying grabs for attention on any, and every, platform.
At least, that’s what I thought yesterday. But now, as I’m reeling from her self-produced, self-expository Five Foot Two documentary, I find myself rethinking everything I used to regard as fact: was the gory, bloody VMA performance a cry for attention? Or was it, as she touched on in the film, a reflection on what fame does to women? Were her years hiding from the spotlight spent in a drug-induced haze, or was she dealing with a debilitating hip and nerve injury that keeps her from living life to the fullest? And, don’t get me wrong, I’m still not a Lady Gaga fan. I just feel bad for her. Her best friend is battling cancer, she’s gone through three horrible breakups, and many of her past producers made her feel unheard and untalented. She had approximately three panic attacks over the hour and a half documentary. Her aunt died of Lupus in the 70s when the so-called ‘cure’ for it was to cut off your hands. Gaga has had a rough time. So why put it on tape? My issue with the whole production was not the content. The issue was that I didn’t completely believe her. I fully understand her struggles and I think they’re valid. However, if she was having such a difficult time, why did she release her story to the public? I felt as though I was almost invading her privacy: the ‘backstage look’ was too close. I didn’t feel invited into her life as much as I felt like I was conducting an investigation. If I abandoned that whole mentality, I would tell you that it was an incredible movie. I loved the artistry behind it: the colors were beautiful and certain scenes felt like they were torn out of the sixties. Gaga had sleek, vintage cars and retro sunglasses that paired perfectly with her demanding screen presence. I was completely invested. When the credits rolled, I wondered whether I accidentally skipped to the end-- I had lost all track of time. It was only when I opened this document and stared at the blank page that I realized, ‘What the heck is she doing?’ A part of me wonders whether she made this film to make herself look like a tortured artist. The other part of me says to shut up and admit that I loved it. And I did: I absolutely loved it. But something smells off.Maybe it’s just the lingering stench of her meat-dress. |
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