‘Why can’t she just try? If something is wrong with her, then there’s nothing I want to do more than to help her anyway I can. Is it depression? Just general stress?’
Alex was sprawled out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was one day after when Morgan told him something was wrong. ‘You wish you knew how to explain it? I just--does she genuinely not understand her own head?’ This was when his phone vibrated in his right jeans pocket. It was Morgan. Naturally. Morgan: Good morning :) Alex: good morning..? you seem awfully chirpy right now. Something happen? Morgan: Nah, not really. I’m just in a good mood I guess. I know, I know, that’s probably really strange, coming from me of all people. But hey, sometimes even I can wake up on the right side of the bed. ‘Huh, maybe yesterday was just an outburst? But the way she’s talking now feels--out of character. Where’s her classic cynicism?’ Alex: well, i guess youre right. im just a little surprised is all. The ‘typing...' message remained on screen for several minutes before Morgan sent her message. Morgan: Look, Alex. I feel like I’ve been kind of a jerk to everyone lately; especially you and my mom. I’ve been spending so much time in my game that I’ve practically forgot about the real world, you know? Hell, I’m sure you’ve already assumed that. Anyway, I just want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’ve seemed off, if I’ve came off as dismissive or whatever. I really don’t mean to be like that. I just haven’t been myself lately. The apology took Alex off guard. ‘Jeez, Morgan. It’s okay, it really is.’ Alex: come on, man. you dont have anything to be sorry about, ok? Its fine. everything is fine, i promise. ‘She has these emotional outbursts more often than ever, nowadays. It really makes me wish I knew exactly what was going on inside her head.’ Alex laid his phone down next to him as he stared back up at the ceiling. ‘No, no that’d be a terrible idea. That’d be the biggest invasion of privacy imaginable. I can’t even begin to think what it would be like if someone knew exactly what I was thinking, at absolutely all times. It would be—terrifying. Even worse if I didn’t even know it was happening. That person could totally just manipulate and abuse me all they want.’ He shook his head, as if it would force the thought out of his mind. ‘What am I thinking--that’s just impossible.’
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Alex rang the doorbell - he was at Morgan’s front door.
It had been a week since the mall date, and Morgan had invited Alex to her house the day before. However, while Alex rang and rang and rang, there was no answer. “What did she oversleep or something? It’s like one in the afternoon.” Finally, the door opened, revealing not Morgan, but her mother. “Hi! Sorry sweetie, she’s just kind of been occupied with her own stuff.” She opened the door further and motioned for Alex to walk in. “But come on in! She’s up in her room. She’s been yelling a lot though; I don’t know if she’s watching a movie, playing a game, or… or what.” Her face displayed slight concern. “Hmm. Well, I’ll just get up there, I guess.” Alex wore a puzzled expression as he made his way up the stairs. “Yeah, that’s right! You don’t have shit on me! That’s right; currite, assbag! What, you think you can just slash some sword and I’ll die? Hell no! I’ve killed goblins, sorcerers, even goddamn demigods. And look at you; you’re just a pile of bones now, aren’t ya?” ‘Well, someone sounds like she’s having fun.’ “And what are you looking at?” Alex opened the door to Morgan’s room. “Uh, Morgan?” Morgan whipped around, arms raised to point an invisible spear at his nose. “Where the--wait a minute!” Morgan plucked a familiar looking helmet off her head. “Shit, Alex! Is it seriously one already?” She tossed the helmet onto her bed. “It sure is. When did you get all this?” Alex pointed out the helmet, and several tripods that held what looked like cameras. “Well, I had so much fun with that game you showed me at the mall, and it made time just seem to stop, and it was just fantastic. I decided, ‘why not?’” Morgan shrugged her shoulders, and starting taking down the tripods. ‘She’s in such a great mood. I don’t know if I should be happy.. Or worried.’ “Morgan, how often have you been playing this? Your mom told me she couldn’t get you to stop, earlier today.” Alex’s expression planted its foot somewhere between curiosity and concern. “Well I mean,” Morgan started with a guilty-as-charged attitude; “I’ve been playing it a lot. Like, a lot. I don’t know, I mean, it’s just really fun, you know?” ‘She’s never like this. Never. Even just a minute ago when I was in the hall, she sounded like a different person compared to right now.’ “Morgan, come on. Be honest with me. At least me, of all people.” Morgan let out a sigh, and her posture sunk. “Fine, fine. I’ve been playing it for hours and hours, every day since I got it. It’s just- It’s so immersive. It’s like magic, Alex. There’s a whole nother world in that headset just begging to be experienced. There’s people, there’s problems of all sorts, and everyone acts like you’d actually expect from them. No walking on the wrong side of the hallway bullshit, you know? No parents talking to you like you’re younger than you really are. No arrogant jerks who think they rule the world. It’s so different from our world, Alex. It’s so similar, but so not.” As Morgan went on, her speech and body language seemed to almost slowly shift back into what Alex would call ‘Morgan’s Usual.’ When she was done, Alex responded. “Morgan, I understand. I really do. I play game like nobody’s business too. I understand that it’s a different world just waiting for you to be part of it. Especially modern games. I understand that it makes you feel like such a heroic badass. I understand that real world problems don’t apply. But Morgan, the real world is important too. It’s more important than that princess who’s always in another castle.” Alex sat Morgan down on the edge of her bed, and sat next to her. “I know it’s fun to take part in these fantasy worlds - I’m no saint when it comes to keeping my game time at a responsible level. We both really need to get it into our skulls sooner or later: This,” he gestured all around them with his hands, “is the real world. The true reality. Trust me, it’s bittersweet news to me too.” “You know me so well, Alex.” Morgan was looking at the ground, listening carefully. “No matter how I act, you know whether something is up or not. You always know, Alex.” Her voice projected with desperation. “I- I guess so. I just love you, you know?” Alex shrugged, and bumped Morgan with his shoulder. Morgan was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “I just wish I knew how to explain it.” |
Preston SheetsPreston in a Senior and a second year staff member. This is his second fiction column. Archives
May 2018
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